The call to love which is central to marriage as sacrament is also the heart of marriage as vocation. We sometimes think of a Christian vocation as the call to a particular life-style such as priesthood, religious life, the married or single state. But these are all just different ways of living out the one Christian vocation, the Call to love. Married people are challenged to love one another in the spirit of Christ, thus living the great commandment especially well. Marriage is a call to love one particular imperfect human being as Christ loves him or her. Such love requires several Christian virtues. Among the most important are faithfulness, forgiveness, and a commitment to growth.
The call to love within Christian marriage necessarily involves a commitment to growth. Fidelity is not simply staying with someone. It includes a willingness to grow and to be with our partner as he or she grows. A marriage and both partners in the marriage go through many stages during the course of a lifetime. It is even possible to say that within every marriage there are several marriages that succeed one another over time: laying the foundations, having children, establishing careers, emptying the nest, adjusting to retirement, facing death.(6) Each of these changes draws the married couple into the process of death and resurrection. They must always be letting go of past ways of being and doing — perhaps letting go even of a dream for the marriage — and open to new realities in the relationship. The practice of love necessarily brings Christians into the paschal mystery of Christ. In light of this mystery a couple can come to view the discomfort of change as an invitation and opportunity, forcing them out of old patterns into new life.
Commitment to growth includes willingness to deal with differences in a marriage. Those who marry are unique individuals; when they live in a close relationship, conflict is inevitable. Whether differences center on furniture arrangements in the living room, money management, or the selection of a vacation spot, they provide one of the principal occasions for gift-giving in a marriage. Differences frequently require compromise, a letting go which is the path to greater unity. When couples approach differences in a spirit of Christian love, these differences can lead to greater understanding, trust, and closeness. On the way, however, I may be asked to lay down my life for my friend.
Marriage is a challenging vocation. Perhaps more than ever before, married couples need the support of a Christian community to live out their call to holiness.
Marriage is a sacrament of faith. Prayer and the Christian sacraments enable couples to keep this faith vision of marriage alive. The Christian community holds before husband and wife the gospel challenge to love, forgiveness, and faithfulness. It also strengthens individuals to live a life that calls for a constant battle with selfishness and discouragement.
